Some much needed comedy relief
I thought we could do with a bit of unadulterated humour round here.
So, courtesy of Mitre 10 -- here’s a funny TV advert.
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What can Evony teach you about how money works?
We’re fond of games, and personally we learnt a lot about property & money from playing things like Cashflow, Hybrid Property Game & of course Monopoly.
So to continue our series in things to learn about money from unlikely games you just wouldn’t expect, we are proud to introduce; Nine things Evony can teach you about Economic theory, tax & the art of war.
For anyone who doesn’t know what Evony is, it’s an online real time game, similar to Civilisation. You build up a city with infrastructure, have to defend it from other (real) players, go and invade valleys for resources, or other cities for plunder. The game keeps going in real time even when you’re alseep. So you need to hope you have enough defense to see off any attacks while you sleep.
It’s very addictive. (And while it may well have the tag line “Free Forever” it can be bloody expensive if you want to buy Game Coins.)
In the game you get gold: from taxation, plunder or selling resources to other players that you ‘harvest’ from the land.
Resources you can harvest are;
- food, needed to feed your army, and workers;
- lumber, needed for building & weapons;
- stone, more building;
- iron, yet more building and some other weapons.
You can buy & sell these resources from other players through a marketplace if you wish.
So, what can Evony teach you about money?
1. Gambling & The Wheel of fortune.
Each day you get a free spin on the wheel of fortune, where you stand a chance of winning a random item which is useful to you in the game. Annoyingly the main screen keeps popping up all the really useful things you just wish you could get your hands on, that ‘other’ players have won on the wheel. Only they are the exception, not the norm. Unless you are a guy called DeMontfort, in which case you are an exceedingly lucky git!
So just like with the real lottery, you keep hearing about all the great thing other people have won. Except when you play, you only win crap. Having used my daily spin for a couple of weeks now, I’ve yet to win anything really useful. Mostly I’ve won resources, which I was building anyhow.
A bit like a free ticket for next weeks lottery.
2. Taxation
You need Tax revenue to pay for Academic research, buy resources in the marketplace, and pay the salary of your hero’s. Two things define how much tax revenue you get, your total population and your taxation percentage. The higher your taxation level, the less popular you are, and the lower your overall population, hence a reduced tax take.
Low tax(naturally) gives you low tax income. High tax (also) gives you low tax income.
Why governments need to spend millions on “working groups” to tell them this I have no idea. They should play Evony and save the money for really important stuff. Like expenses claims.
There is a balance between population and taxation levels, which is around 50% tax. Not that we’d like the Tax Working Group to suggest this to NZ govt., and just look at the starting exodus of people from the UK because of impending 50% tax rates. Tweaking your tax rate for optimum income isn’t necessarily the best policy if you want to grow your city.
Unfortunately in the game, a 50% tax rate means that you have to invest a huge amount of time & resources building housing for people, and only 50% of it is occupied. Lower your tax and more of your housing stock is occupied, and you have more people available to work in the fields or join the army.
So just like real life, low personal income tax attracts people to your city, who then work in productive functions. As a Govt. you then have to balance your spending so you don’t run out of money before you’ve built that shiny new Town Hall.
3. Plundering – a great historical tradition going back millenia. Today we call it war.
If you can’t, or don’t want to, harvest the resources you need from your own lands and build a sustainable economic base for your city then you can always steal it off of someone else.
Only you need an army to do that.
So you need some ‘basis’ things like; resources, buildings, academic research, idle population and a hero before you can do that.
Plus you’ll need defenses once you nick the stuff, so the other player can’t nick it back.
If you’re lazy with either attack or defense, you’ll lose the fight, your soldiers all die, and you have to replace them. Back to needing to harvest resources again.
4.It’s all about budgeting!
The game is all a big balancing act, which we more commonly call budgeting. If you have low taxation, then you need to plunder for gold. If you don’t invest in your own infrastructure (resources), then you need to plunder for the resources you need to build. And of course the bigger you want to build things, the more plundering you need to do. The more plundering you do, the further away you have to travel to do it, until in the end you invade a city because it’s building a catapult which could reach your city within 45 minutes.
All of which can be minimised by budgeting well, spreading the investment of your resources back into making more resources, building more housing, or increasing infrastructure. All the time keeping people happy.
5. Hero’s – today we call them leaders, less politely we’d call them politicians.
In a very odd parallel here, you recruit your hero from an inn.
Where they hang out until someone gives them a job.
Only then, they demand a feasting hall be built in their honour, and they hang out there while you pay them a salary for, well, feasting.
The more hero’s you have, the bigger your feasting hall needs to be. Which takes time, gold, resources etc.
I don’t need to say much more on that do I? 
6. Hero’s – part 2.
- In order to enhance the speed at which your people build things, you need a good mayor with high political acumen.
- In order to enhance the speed at which your academics under take research, you need a highly intelligent hero.
- In order to train your armies quicker and win more battles you need a hero with high military skill. Ideally you should have two of these, one to head off and fight a battle, while the other stays at home training more armies.
Typically these three attributes are not found in one person, and ideally you actually need four hero’s to make your city run well. For example if you demote your mayor, so you can send him off to battle, then the population slows down their working speed – i.e. while you leader is off fighting a war in another country productivity goes down.
Amazing how well this matches real life through the centuries eh? Of course if you want to fight lots, either for plunder or conquest, you’ll need more military leaders. Which require a bigger feasting hall, larger inn’s and higher salaries. And if you want to ‘entertain’ a foreign ‘dignitary’, we call them leaders who have been taken hostage in a fight, you need a bigger feasting hall! (yet again)
Basically, provide your politicians heroes with lots of perks, particularly alcohol, and they will love you and do what you want them to.
7. The Marketplace: commodity trading is a great way to make money.
The marketplace allows you to buy and sell the four basic resources with other players. Prices fluctuate a lot, even during a day. However, just like a real economy & stock market you can place an order for a quantity of food at the price you’re willing to pay, and wait for a seller to come along and accept that offer. Just like real stocks, you can see the highest prices people want to buy stuff at, and the lowest prices people are willing to sell at. A very active market has a small, or non-existent difference. A slow market for resources not in demand will have a big difference.
So just like the real economy, you have a price at which sellers are willing to accept for their item (let’s call it a house), and a price buyers are willing to pay for that same item, and eventually there has to be a compromise in price by one party for the sale to happen. And just like the real economy, you have lots of people selling food, so the price is low, and as a buyer you can ’shop around’, i.e. wait, until a seller comes along who is willing to meet your (low) price.
8. Academic research.
Part of the game requires you to research scientific advances to help you progress in the game. i.e. build things quicker, get a better defense, attack or movement speed to your armies. So just like the real world, where academics need research grants from Govt., here you have to pay gold & food for those academics to figure out how to make a faster wheel. And just like the real world, with a highly intelligent academic honoured in your feasting hall, academic research progresses faster. Academic research is one of those thing to invest in early, so when you’re trying to build a really big something, it only takes a day or two instead of weeks (real time!)
9. Alliances
Alliances are very important. A good alliance will come to your aid when you are being attacked by sending troops to help defend your city, or other troops to attack the city of the person attacking you. A really good alliance will also make donations of resources when you need them, to help you build your city or army. They’re also there to give sage advice. So whether it’s friends, neighbours, work colleagues, fellow countrymen, other countries you know well, or countries you can’t even spell – joining an alliance and working together means you all benefit.
Bake a bigger pie.
Failing that, your alliance may plunder the pie’s of other alliances, but teamwork always gets you more pies in the long run than playing fighting alone.
Immigration New Zealand make a booboo.
While excellent use of the English language is supposed to be a pre-requisite of migrating to New Zealand – so much so that even people born in England have to fill in a stupid question saying why we think we have this skill – INZ staff still struggle with the concept sometimes.
They are about to launch a website to persuade the people of Singapore to move here – unfortunately they say
Immigration NZ will try to win over Singaporean migrants by selling New Zealand as a country which offers “brilliant work and study experiences plus a relax lifestyle” – and affordable housing and car ownership.
“Compared to prices in Singapore, you’ll probably find your money will go a very long way in the New Zealand housing market,” prospective migrants will be told.
Ah yes – the old “come to New Zealand – its cheap” – chestnut.
Thankfully the website hasn’t launched yet – so they still have time to spellcheck and proofread and avoid looking stupid.
I hope
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Here’s some Immigration advice ;)
Don’t do what this guy did!
And don’t do what this guy did either!
The first chap had been living illegally in Wellington for 6 years, and then left and tried to come back. This is a bit silly really. If you are going to be an illegal overstayer – the last thing you do is leave – because you ain’t ever coming back.
The second chap, who was legally in New Zealand on a work permit, threatened to rob a bank in central Wellington, caused chaos in the city as he claimed there was a bomb in the building, then scarpered and apparently ran to Australia. He’s currently being extradited – presumable to get full residence in one of our prisons.
Not how it should really be done.
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How shall we pay it back? By having a plan!
Filed under: Cost of living, Economics, For the numpties amongst us, Future Finances, General Budgeting, Hubby's Views
I was working on an event about CFO’s the other month, and needed some humour to illustrate advice you don’t want from current or former Financial Chiefs. With much joy, I found this;
And the following interview conducted by the BBC, of a UK Govt minister talking about how the UK Govt. is going to pay back the 606Bn UKP debt it’s due to rack up in the next couple of years. As I can’t find the link anymore you’re have to forgive the slight paraphrasing. The interview really did go something like this;
BBC Interviewer -- How will you pay it back?
MP -- by having a plan!
BBC -- and what’s the plan?
MP -- The plan is to pay it back!
BBC- Yes, and what is the plan?
MP -- The plan involves passing legislation saying that we’re going to do this, it’ll have targets!
BBC -- Yes, and we have targets for everything including NHS waiting lists, University education etc. and none of them have been met.
MP -- No they haven’t, and that’s because of the 18 years of Conservative Govt ruining the economy, but this is different.
BBC -- How?
MP -- Because we’re the Govt, we say we’re going to do it and we have a plan.
BBC -- Yes, with respect minister, having a piece of legislation doesn’t tell any of us how you are going to find 606Bn pounds over the next four years (assuming you win the election), to pay back this debt. How can you possibly pay back this much money without making savage cuts to public spending?
MP -- Well, it’s quite simple -- we have a plan. To pass legislation. Which will have targets. And we wont need to cut any public spending, because public spending is what will drive the economic growth to bring us out of recession.
BBC -- So lets be clear, you’re not going to cut spending, you’re not going to raise taxes significantly, where is the money going to come from?
MP -- As I said, it’s really quite simple, we’re going to have a plan.
BBC -- And the plan.. -- oh forget it.
Xmas tree decorations
As a follow on to the Xmas tree harvesting post, I thought it also worth talking about decorations for said tree.
Obviously other than having an upside down Xmas tree, the other challenge is finding some interesting decorations. Which somehow reflect that there isn’t 6″ of snow outside. Fortunately someone thought of this years ago and while again you have to hunt for these things, NZ tree decorations are available.
Lets start with a surfing Santa;
Or a beach ready Santa;
And of course a suitably decorated Kiwi;
Summer Xmas cards
One of the curiosities of Xmas in the summer is sending greetings cards. The vast majority of which still show idyllic little villages covered in snow, while Santa treks across a field with a sack full of toys. No we all know this isn’t true, Santa flies everywhere with his anti-gravity reindeer – why would he walk?
But anyway, the quandary then becomes, where’s an Xmas card of a typical southern hemisphere Xmas idyll? Apart from Pohutukawa tree’s, there are some, just tricky to find. Of course, if I’d written this before Xmas we’d also have examples of the one’s we sent out – so all I can show you at the moment is the one for Avalon.
So, Santa’s secret is revealed – he is actually The Stig’s twin brother and when not busy they spend all their time in hammocks at the beach!
Dr Seuss does COP15
In case anyone missed it, world leaders took (emission offset) flights, along with 15,000 others (more emission offset) to Copenhagen to save the planet the other week. There were some protestors, who burnt things -- I’m not sure that quite follows with the whole not emiting any CO2, ho hum.
Here’s a summary from Dr Seuss, courtesy of The Now Show, 18/12/09, Marcus Brigstocke.
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My year in status on Facebook
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Piped Xmas Music
Well you know it must be Xmas when;
1. – the shops start stocking ‘presents for him’,
2. – the pundits predict the best/worst/most average Xmas shopping spree ever, with record high/low/fast/slow sales,
3. – and you get piped music to assault your ears as you’re trying to meander in the vain search for something half way decent to buy. You know the stuff, like a 3yr old has been let loose on an electronic keyboard. Or if you’re lucky the Xmas CD gets stuck in a loop of three songs instead of only one.
Still some shops have a better class of piped music than others, you can rely on Kirkaldie & Staines to raise the bar a little.
The dulcet tones of a real brass quintet soothing the journey home at 6:30 in the evening as people do some late night shopping.
